End Relationship Strife With This Relationship Help

Relationships are powerful. They impact every part of our lives.

When there is stress and strife in a relationship, we lose motivation, focus and even self-respect.

To achieve happy, healthy life-success, you need to be in positive, harmonious relationships.

When an important relationship is going well, you feel free to focus your full power into achieving the goals in life that are most important to you.

But relationship problems fester and our emotions enter turbulence and we become mentally distracted.

Marital conflict causes the spouses to lose their power to be as successful as possible in every area of their lives, including parenting their children, performing at work, and getting along with others.

So we need to develop the emotional resilience to be able to handle those challenging relationship periods without losing our power to succeed.

Relationship-experiences can be wonderfully fulfilling, but we have to avoid becoming overly emotionally dependent upon being in a harmonious relationship.

While it is virtually impossible to bring our best to work when we are going through a painful relationship difficulty, we can develop our emotional stability, which increases our ability to stay focused, motivated and productively engaged in our work.

One way to develop emotional strength is by becoming very clear about what you want to accomplish in life, including your relationship goals.

Work on your mental focus a daily basis by thinking deliberately about your life goals, including your ideal relationship. Make a list of what you want to achieve professionally, your health and fitness goals, your life-style goals, your married life dream. Then spend some time envisioning yourself successfully accomplishing each of those goals.

Each time you intentionally focus your mind on what you want to achieve, your power of mental focus grows stronger. You will not only grow increasingly clear about and committed to the goals you want to achieve in life, you will find yourself capable of focusing on those goals when personal relationship problems arise; you will be less distracted by interpersonal conflict and better able to keep your creative energy working on creating the life you want.

Simply focusing on something you desire, rather than on the relationship difficulties that you desire to be free of is an effective “success secret” for creating the satisfying results in life that you long for.

Mentally churning and worrying about a marital problem is really just a habitual reaction that you can gradually overcome by developing your power of mental focus, and thus more quickly and easily create the life you really want.

REMEMBER THAT FOCUSING ON RELATIONSHIP DISSATISFACTION DOES NOTHING TO SOLVE A RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.

You are the creator of your circumstances. The circumstances you experience, including the state of your most important relationship, is a MENTAL condition that you emotionally react to.

If you don’t believe this, notice what you are thinking about when you feel emotionally disturbed by something that your mate has done. You are thinking of your mate doing what you feel disturbed by. You are living in a mental movie of a bad relationship experience.

As you develop mastery of your power of mental vision, you can redirect your thoughts from draining and disheartening relationship strife, into visions of relationship success.

When it comes to solving relationship problems, you actually sabotage relationship success when you anxiously fret about the relationship.

You need to feel basically calm and secure to come up with solutions. Simply focusing on working on other areas of your life can give you time to gain freedom from overly stressful efforts to control your relationship out of fear.

You must be feeling positive, secure and confident to leave contentious conflict and live in companionship compatibility.

The next time that you feel the stress of relationship strife, use it as an opportunity to exercise, and thereby to develop, the mental mastery of directing your mind AWAY from the inharmonious relationship vision and into a vision of your success and happiness.

Let go of thoughts that feed feelings of anxiety. Focus your attention INTENTIONALLY on your visions of successful relationships, or success in any other area of your life.

Little by little you will feel calmer, more confident, and focused. You will more rapidly advance toward your important life-goals, enjoy a calm and secure, even encouraged frame of mind, and leave the drain of relationship strife behind.

Conduct Your Relationship With Love and Care

When we respond to our significant other with anger or sarcasm, or short and choppy replies out of frustration, we are sending harsh and fighting signals to them. It is unusual for a couple to never have conflicts, misunderstandings or disagreements. However, our response – that is attitude as well as words – is the very spark that either inflames the situation or triggers the calm toward resolution. Fellas, how do we respond?

hub1

Here is a better way to solving a problem in your relationship. First, take a deep intentional breath. Next, what do you understand the problem to be that has your stress level rising? Then, before speaking convince yourself that your girlfriend/wife did not intend to irritate or touch your rawness. Now, you may respond with calm and a loving attitude in order to prevent the anger from getting higher and more dangerous. With a loving approach you may enjoy the result of having stopped what could have been a serious argument from happening at all.

When you honestly want to have a successful marriage or relationship and keep your love life fresh and ongoing, you want to understand your partner from a different perspective. The below list contains the core issues or main issues that couples face in an ongoing relationship. This list is not all of the issues you have or may face, but it is the list of those which couples have reported that are most common.

Communication

The most frequent cause of broken relationships is a failure to openly and honestly communicate. Silence, when a few calm words would be appropriate, can destroy a relationship. Do not dread communication with your loved one. Just sprinkling a little bit of love on them is a good thing and, shows no fear.

Their day was a hard day’s work or maybe just a bad day. You can take the pain away by using calm and loving communication. In this way, you change from being the selfish taker to being the care giver which your loved one needs and deserves from you.

Sometimes the communication gap has been there for so long it can be difficult to break the ice. If you are in a this situation, then consider one or more of the following suggestions:

First of all, do you have regularly scheduled dates? If not, this may be the beginning of reviving the romance for both of you. Turn the TV off and sit down with your loved one and ask “what day this week would you like to go out?” Set a specific date to go out with your loved one. The next question to ask is what would they like to do best? Movie, dinner, or dancing or getting a baby sitter and just sit at home talking or playing your favorite game. Whatever is decided, you take the initiative and immediately arrange all the details. Do not ask your loved one to make the arrangements [if they offer to do so, then consider that as different]. Remember, spending time at home and having a really loving time of healthy talk is a great way to reconnect. But if you do not set a specific time and date, your special evening may never happen.

If you live together, take special precautions to limit your TV watching time. Generally, if you’re focused on watching a TV show, you are not bonding with your partner. [NOTE: this is also true with your children.]

Stop the interruptions. When you are spending time with your loved one, turn your phones off so that nothing interrupts your time together. No one that important is going to call or text.

If you have children, then be sure to make arrangements for them. Either wait until after they are put to bed to begin the evening together or schedule a sitter or take them to a friend’s or relative’s house to watch them.

Each of us must learn and remember that raised voices and words spoken in anger have a lasting effect on children who witness the unpleasantness. Children have love and affection for both parents. So long as one parent is not abusing the children by forcing them to choose one parent over the other, they will only be very confused, embarrassed, and stressed when parents yell and speak angrily to one another. Use reasoned good sense. If you have a difficult matter or one that is more likely to degenerate into a loud argument, plan accordingly. Would a public place be more appropriate?

Always be intentional in keeping quiet until your partner has finished talking. DO NOT INTERRUPT THEM. If both of you are frequently guilty of interrupting each other, then it is time for both of you to establish some rules to follow so that things change.

When you are fidgeting (one foot then the other or twirling your fingers) while your partner is talking, you are communicating your disinterest in what they are saying. DO NOT FIDGET. Be attentive and look into your partner’s eyes while they talk. Your body language tells your partner whether or not you are truly interested in what they are saying.

Tips to solve problems

Be truthful, always. No exception. Be honest about everything that is going on with you. Relationships are formed on impressions and expectations or assumptions. However, they only last as the two people become truthful with each other which results in trusting one another. When your loved one’s trust in you is broken, it is nearly impossible to re-establish that lost trust. When this occurs, the relationship is more likely to permanently fall apart.

Money and financial issues are the most common cause of conflict in your relationship. No one is automatically trained and disciplined in keeping financial matters from becoming serious indebtedness. You must be willing to learn the art of record keeping and budgeting. No one can live on hopeful expectations. Whether you share bills and expenditures with each other or only one has the lions share of income and responsibility, it is vital that both of you know and understand the financial details. When something happens that causes a shortage of money to become a problem, both must be prepared and willing to solve. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing to share your money with your partner.

Understand that being in a relationship means being there for one another. Real love is being there in good times or bad. When issues arise between you – and they will – know that “what you choose to do in face of the difficult issue” is more important than the issue. Love will take away all pain when each of you show love in good times or bad. When you show love wherever possible, your relationship will bloom like a beautiful, healthy flower.

When the Best of Family Makes Us Sad

TWENTY-FIRST birthday parties are as poignant as ever, as was my daughter’s recently. I look at my four living children, especially my three-year-old son, and note, with sadness, that they all grow up. The other three have proven that.

That makes me sad – that I can’t snap-freeze these kids in their development and enjoy them more. The purpose of life is that it evolves. It has to. But the by-product of life is that we do grow older and more irrelevant to our children with our years… and still, perhaps when our children relied on us most we felt we were too relevant!

I can remember being a father who wasn’t as intrinsically motivated as I am now. Being intrinsically motivated for the past dozen years doesn’t make parenting any easier. It makes it harder in that I feel what I miss. The best of family makes me sad. There was a time when family wasn’t so central and I felt less… it was easier. But I missed so much more without even realising it.

The closer we are to God, the more propensity we have to be honest, the more we wish to live for others and not ourselves, the more grief we’ll experience. It’s because being vulnerable creates intimacy, and that intimacy creates pain when the dynamics of intimacy change.

The best of family from a parent’s viewpoint involves sadness because progress in children’s lives means they inevitably move on.

It’s only when it’s too late – when our children have flown the nest – that we come to understand. It’s a hard lesson, but it helps us understand it’s love that causes the feelings of loss.

The more we love, the more we feel we lose. But we have done our job to love and that should satisfy.

10 Signs You’re Becoming the Best of Strangers

There are signs that you’re a committed couple; you know each other’s favorite foods, favorite places, interests, goals, likes and dislikes. When things are in motion to becoming a couple learning more about each other is vitally important; when you’re growing apart, there are different signs. You’re becoming strangers to one another. How can you recognize when this is happening to your relationship?

1) You stop sharing conversations about things that were important to both of you.
2) You stop attending things together that used to be a part of your routine.
3) Your partner is no longer interested in going to family functions together.
4) Your partner gets a new car or other vehicle and you did not know they were looking.
5) Your partner changes jobs; you did not know they were looking.
6) Your opinion about household changes no longer matters.
7) Your partner has new interests you were unaware of.
8) Their opinions about things that were important to both of you are suddenly completely different; someone else’s influence has taken precedence.
9) They fail to notice significant changes about you.
10) Someone outside of your relationship brings a small gift because they knew your partner would love it; you didn’t know they had an interest in that.

Somehow growing apart is far less noticeable than growing together. Enchantment is far more captivating that disenchantment. Does it mean your relationship is over? It is if you’re not interested in growing together again, either of you. A lack of interest is the culprit behind becoming strangers.

When you realize this is happening it is good to know that an opportunity lies within the jarring realization that your life may be about to change significantly. It is time to make an honest and unemotional assessment about why this is happening. Have you grown apart because you have new interests that are not shared? Have you gotten familiar enough with one another to discover that you really don’t have an interest in the future of your partner or a future together? If familiarity has bred contempt it is time to take advantage of the opportunity to make a graceful exit while you are both in the process of an emotional separation, and that is what growing apart is.

If, on the other hand, you have become so comfortable in your relationship that either of you imagined it was not necessary to pay careful attention to each other and the direction you are moving towards it is time for a serious wake up call. If continuing your relationship is important to both of you and this has happened because of a lack of attention it is necessary to redefine your priorities.

Why is it important to remove the emotion as you assess this situation? If what you have together is real and sustaining it will withstand the light that emerges even without the emotional tug of memories. Real love is undeniable, gentle and lasting; and worth pursuing and protecting.