Attachment Theory For Adults and Couples

Attachment theory can be studied and dissected in a multitude of ways, but in its simplest form, it is described as a way to showcase the dynamics of interpersonal relationships between humans. This can start from parent-child relationships, friendships, and of course, romantic relationships. There are typically four sides to attachment theory that most models use to define it: Secure, Preoccupied, Dismissing, and Fearful.

For example, in childhood, a secure child might simply wave or say a small greeting when their parent enters the room. A preoccupied child would hardly notice their presence, finding other things more interesting, a dismissing child would purposely choose to ignore them, and a fearful child would be clinging to that parent, desperately afraid of them leaving, or even not loving them enough.

How Can It Affect Romantic Relationships?

These rules of attachment certainly can carry over into adulthood, and affect our relationships with our families, friends, and romantic relationships. Attachment theory is a psychological model, so the thoughts behind it come from a mixture of childhood upbringing, to predetermined psychological thoughts that a child will have no matter what. Of course, that means it can be difficult to get rid of those thoughts, even as an adult.

Depending on the ‘side’ of attachment a person falls under, it could cause issues in their everyday relationships, unless they learn to overcome it.

Attachment theory shows up in adult relationships in a similar fashion to childhood relationships between a child and their parent. Unfortunately, those attributes can be considered extremely unhealthy, depending on how deeply-rooted the issues are within a particular individual.

Similarly to a child’s forms of attachment, an adult in a relationship can experience a variety of different attachment issues, where their partner essentially ‘replaces’ the parental figure in their lives. This could range from being dismissive in relationships, to being preoccupied with other things, or what could be considered the worst; having a fearful relationship that leads to needs that can likely never be met. The fearful side of attachment can lead to things like paranoia, stress, or even obsession.

The healthiest form of attachment in almost any relationship is secure, when you have the ability to simply find contentment in the relationship itself, and the person you’re with, whether they’re with you 24 hours a day, or you only see each other periodically.

Struggling with other forms of attachment that could be considered unhealthy can lead to destructive relationships, not just romantically, but in any adult relationship you may find yourself in. Thankfully, these unhealthy ways of attaching ourselves to other people are usually treatable and manageable with the right therapeutic help and coaching.

Exciting Relationship Tips on How to Keep Your Man Faithful

These days, a lot of men just cannot stay faithful to their partners and if you want to keep your man faithful, here are some relationship tips from expert couple counselors.

If your man becomes unfaithful, there’s no use in blaming yourself. While you can find many relationship tips from experts, remember that a cheating husband/boyfriend is never your fault – he is the only one to blame for his actions.

While most people believe that men cheat because they can, experts say otherwise. The truth is, men cheat because they are not happy and satisfied with their partners. Basically, men have basic needs – clean shelter, good food, and great sex. If you, as a woman can give him these three basic requirements of your man, you can easily keep your man faithful.

Satisfy his sexual needs

Sex is an important element in marriage and almost all relationship tips from expert marriage counselors will tell you this. Your husband’s desire to have sex with you is one of his ways to express his love. When he wants sex, it simply means that he wants you to feel how much he loves you – and wants to feel your love in return. It is important to maintain that emotional and passionate connection between the two of you and not fulfilling this need will not only damage the marriage but it will also affect the confidence of your husband. Make sure to satisfy your husband’s sexual needs.

Satisfy his hungry stomach

Every man appreciates a good meal and a wife who knows how to cook well can guarantee that her husband will stay faithful. If you don’t know what sauté means, invest on a cookbook or enroll in a culinary school.

Take care of him

Boys will be boys and believe it or not, all men love being pampered. You can let him know how much you care about him by doing simple things. Aside from cooking for your husband, make sure to tend to his needs. Prepare his clothes and things before he goes to work, organize his belongings and make sure that there’s shampoo, soap and tissue paper in the bathroom. As a wife, it is your responsibility to pay attention to his needs so that he’ll love you more.

Share your husband’s interests

In order to be closer, it is best to have an activity that you both enjoy. If you don’t share the same interests, it is vital for you to try something that your husband loves such as watching a football game or watching action films. Your husband will appreciate your effort of liking his interests.

Be mysterious

Some men cheat because they often feel too comfortable. As much as possible, use the bathroom separately. Your husband really doesn’t have to see you while dressing up. In addition, save your nude body for sex or foreplay. Walking around the house naked is never sexy.

Let him keep his individuality

Any husband needs his freedom every once in a while to do his things. For instance, if he goes out with his friends every Friday, let him enjoy it and do not make let him feel at fault about it. Remember this one of the relationship tips from expert couple counselors – both parties should keep their individualities even if you are already married.

Beginner’s Guide to Relationship Building

Relationships are something everyone needs and desires. Having an easy come easy go attitude toward then is no way to get ahead. Relationships are important for many reasons. When forming and maintaining them there are certain procedures that must be followed for them to be successful. Here are a few tips.

Relationships are often very delicate and require constant maintenance. On the other hand, relationships can be a source of security that endures many trials. There are many reasons to build successful and lasting relationships. For example, in a group or organizational situation, the emotional health of the members depends on the efficiency and effectiveness of that group or organization.


The group or organization also relies on how well it can work with management. Ineffective groups or organizations can be a source of great frustration for all concerned. It can be taxing on the members.

Human beings are social creatures. A society requires its members to work towards a common goal. Good relationships manifest cooperation and respect. With everyone working towards a common goal, excellence can be achieved.

Each party should understand what is important to each other. Everyone should be given encouragement to openly express their feelings to one another. This encourages open communication.

Respect is a huge factor in any relationship. Respect should always be shown to oneself and others. Respect can be shown by listening to the other party and overcoming any differences. There will always be more than one perspective.

Always strive to create a win – win situation. This can be achieved when one party acknowledges the importance of the relationship. That party will then put more time into addressing the others needs. If failure occurs, then no-one can say they never tried.

It is important that both parties listen effectively and don’t prejudge each other. This is the only way that both parties will reach a mutual understanding. Casual discussions are beneficial for both parties. They can both clear their minds and think better.

Always allow the other party to express their emotions. Failure to do so will block further efforts to building a relationship. Other things that will hinder relationship building are: ego, human nature, stereo-tying and being inconsiderate to the other parties feelings.

To conclude, relationships are vital to everyone. Dealing with problems as they occur is essential to the building of any relationship. Using this advice will help break down the barriers.a

Relationship Tips For A New Romance

Starting a new relationship is exciting. There are so many mixed emotions involved. Other than excitement, you get the hope of a perfect, flourishing relationship that may last forever, and of course, there’s always that fear of having things not work out.

Whatever feelings you may have, only one thing remains; you hope for the best for your new-found relationship and will do everything you can for it to last. But, doing so isn’t easy. It does not happen like magic, you have to work at it for it to last. It takes time and effort. This will only work as long as you enjoy each other’s company, have the genuine desire to know each other well, and the patience to make the relationship for keeps.

Here are relationship tips that may help you get those wedding bells ringing in the near future:

Build A Strong Friendship

All things must begin somewhere, and for achieving that perfect relationship, you have to build a solid foundation of friendship. They say opposites attract, but there should be at least one or two things in common between two people. Start from there. If you have a common hobby or sport you both enjoy, you can utilize this to spend time with one another learning more about each other and discovering personality traits or behaviors that you may or may not like.

Spend Quality Time Getting To Know Each Other

Spending quality time together is a must. The more time you get, the more intimacy and formality can be achieved. Through this, you can decide whether your new-found romance should level up to a more serious one or should stay at the friendship level.

However, don’t push things too far. At this stage, it is important to take things at a slow pace and simply enjoy each other’s company. Yes, you may believe you have found your dream girl or guy, but it doesn’t mean they are the right one for you. Make sure you also get enough time off to miss each other and think things over. There are still more levels to go through, and stages to discover.

Be Involved With Each Other

Once you become more comfortable with your new partner, more understanding and accepting, only then you can move on to a more serious stage. It is important that you start investing in increased involvement and communication with your partner. Don’t wait for years before doing this. You don’t want to have a peaceful coexistent relationship in the beginning, and then break up in the end because your relationship was not deep enough to withstand difficulties and trials.

This is what happens to many marriages these days. Their relationship is too shallow. Involving does not only mean watching your partners weekend basketball games, but to actually support him or her all the way. It also means being involved with each other’s family, bad behaviors, vices, past, work, and all other aspects of his or her life. However, this doesn’t mean you simply act as a dutiful wife or husband, you need to be present and there to support, help, and understand each other.

Serious relationships involve meeting your partner’s friends and families. Doing intimate things may also be introduced. It also entails you to allot most of your time with your partner and involve them in your daily routines and activities. If you are not ready for it, then just take things slow. A free relationship compatibility reading can be very helpful in providing insights to your new relationship.

Don’ts To Remember For A New Romance

There are numerous don’ts you have to consider when in a new relationship. To start with, you have to set your boundaries and refrain from doing things that married couples do. Privacy is very important. Don’t go checking their phones or corner them with uncomfortable questions about their past.

Likewise, don’t hang around uninvited in the places you think they will be all the time, such as in their office, their home, or their local hangout. This can indicate insecurity, and no one likes that. Give them enough space and focus instead on building strong communication and trust.

Next, don’t allow yourself to do something you think isn’t right just because your partner told you to do so. Make sure you give yourself respect. Everything starts with small things. The more you do something you are not okay with, the more you become vulnerable to not making the right decisions when the situation calls for it, especially when you are overpowered by your new partner. Set your standards and know what you want.

More so, you shouldn’t do things to pressure your partner in any way. Pressuring and demanding is the same thing. Asking someone to do something they are not comfortable with is a sign of immaturity and disrespect. Putting a lot of burden on someone can lead them to back off or leave you.

Lastly, one thing that most couples crave from their partner is honesty. Starting a new romance shouldn’t involve any pretentions. Show them the real you and who you really are and things will naturally fall into place. Yes, it may be natural to impress a bit, but don’t overdo it.

Being honest with oneself is also important. If you see only superficial things and those are the only reasons that draws you to them, then you better think twice about pursuing the relationship. When you fool yourself, it comes back to you a hundred fold.

Then again, honesty does not call you to share all your dirty closets to your new partner right away. It should take time to test the waters. Don’t tell them at once everything about your past. Sometimes, our dirty secrets could even be the reason why many relationships don’t work out. Give yourself enough credit and reason for your partner to respect you

Building a soul mate relationship that lasts can bring fulfillment to life. Good relationships can improve your state of mind, enhance one’s health, heighten self-esteem and social awareness, and boost all aspects of life. However, keep in mind that new relationships are still breakable and fragile, so understand and learn how to make it last.

Just like life plans, relationships are considered great investments. The more you give, the more you get back in return. Keeping a healthy relationship can give anyone happiness beyond compare.