What’s the secret of discovering a true friend or lover? The Secret of Great Relationships? By the word “true” I mainly mean a relationship free of manipulation and ego based behaviors.
The first thing that comes in mind is move towards the mindset of “giving”. Give yourself, your thoughts and your genuine responses. I am sure that you have heard this phrase a thousand times in videos and blog posts but you have failed to do so. First of all “failing” is necessary, it means that you are trying to re-approach yourself by a different angle. Having said that, the phrase “I failed” is more likely to be replaced with “I am moving closer to my goals” because you try to find a solution inwards. If you continually searching outwards then I invite you to search yourself first. How can you actually practice that?
A great book
The first approach is to discover your values. Most people keep saying that they have values but if you challenge them to simplify them and give a straight answer about their first and foremost value, they are unable to do so. There are many exceptional books on that matter, I recommend you to read “Awaken the Giant Within”. Anthony Robbins will guide you extremely well in the majority of crucial matters and give you tools to explore and modify your value system. Exploring one’s values is important for those who seek fulfillment and awareness through relationships.
See things clearly
The second approach is a favorite of mine. Meditation. During all this stimulus and distracting life that most of us participate in, it’s mandatory to invest some time listening to your thoughts, exploring your breathing and see things a little clearer through practice and patience. Practice meditation and you will be able to retract yourself from a current situation and sometimes put less (emotional) magnitude in a situation that really frustrates you.
Give yourself to the fullest
We live in a world in which “Trust must be earned”. Unconsciously or consciously we are suspicious towards each other. We don’t fully express ourselves to others, because we might get heart. Just like the last time we opened ourselves to a person who gained our trust and betrayed us. The first response of many people around us are that of suspicion, and we receive suspicion and doubt as well. We want to avoid the pain of an upcoming betrayal, as a result we close our body and mind to the rest of the world and hope that we find a true friend or lover. How can you have great experiences with people who interest you, when you are willing to give a small portion of who you are? You cannot, you simply have to let go all the internal dialog that you have been building for years and open yourself, show the vulnerabilities you have. No man or woman can rely on you when you hide your fears.
As you see there are more than one secret of discovering great relationships, we just covered a small portion. All things start with the relationship you have with YOURSELF.